You Know You've Read Twilight Too Many Times When
by Alyson May
Summary: Pretty much I compiled a list of things you'll do if you've read Twilight enough times......my first oneshot!
1. Chapter 1

**An idea I came up with when I was bored……………………**

**YOU KNOW YOU'VE READ TWILIGHT TOO MANY TIMES WHEN:**

1. You see an exceptionally pale person on the street and immediately think and/or scream, "VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE!!!!"

2. You run up to said pale person and beg them to bite you.

3. You want to move to Forks, Washington. **(AlyMay: And I warn you: Stephenie Meyer isn't exaggerating when she talks about all the rain! I swear, yesterday, in the middle of summer, it POURED.)**

4. If you don't think you can stand the rain in Forks, Washington, you want to move to Alaska and look for the Denali. **(AlyMay: Then you'll be dealing with snow!)**

5. Your family took a vacation in Italy and you searched high and low for anyone with vampire capabilites…

6. …you even _tried_ to make yourself bleed so any Volturi would hunt you down and make you a vampire.

7. You want to name your son Edward/Emmett/Jasper/Carlisle/Charlie and your daughter Bella/Alice/Rosalie/Esme/Renee

8. You immediately despise anyone named Jacob

9. You look around excitedly whenever you hear someone call, "Edward!"

10. You're spending less time in the sun to make yourself pale…

11. …and you're even using a lighter coverup to make your skin even lighter.

12. You believe you can smell someone's blood who is sitting next to you…

13. …Or weirder, someone sitting across the room.

14. You tell your crush that his blood is calling to you

15. You trip and injure yourself and your excuse for not remembering the last few days is because you believe you've undergone a vampire transformation

16. You are suddenly listening to fifties music and think the sixties and seventies music sucks, but feel the eighties were 'bearable'

17. You hunt down Stephenie Meyer to hone your tracking abilities (and also to force info on new books out of her!)

18. You're kissing your boyfriend when suddenly you stop and tell him you have to stop because he's putting himself in danger by continuing to kiss you

19. You all of a sudden go hiking frequently, looking for vampires and werewolves and, of course, Edward's meadow

20. On your 18th birthday, you ask for no presents and fight back tears all day **(AlyMay:( you're older than Edward……)**

21. You want your first house to be in the middle of nowhere…..

22. ……and you plan to take out several walls to make one, big, open room.

23. You want to go play baseball in the rain for two reasons: One, the Cullens do it, so why not? And two: MAYBE JAMES/VICTORIA/LAURENT WILL BE NEARBY AND WANT TO COME PLAY AND COINCEDENTALLY DECIDE THAT YOU SMELL TOO GOOD TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Hehe that was fun! My first oneshot! Hope you liked it:P!!!!!! Byebyes!!!! (dances off on a sugar high from…..wait a minute…..I never had any sugar…….hm……must just be from…….I dunno………..YAY SUGAR HIGHS FROM NOTHING CLOSE TO SUGAR!!!!!!!!! WHOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did why the hell would I be on FanFiction?!**

**AlyMay Author's Note: This is part two!!! I wasn't planning on doing a second one, but my friend Courtney Rose came over and we made it together!!!!!**

**CourtRose Author's Note: I would just like to say that this is my first fanfic; oh and also my friend AlyMay is kinda a nerd…hehe me too! AND I AM KINDA OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT (who isn't?)**

**You Know You've Read Twilight Too Many Times When…**

**Part Dos**

1. You prick your finger and instead of running for a Band-Aid, you wave it around and scream, "HEY! BLOOD!"

2. You find out where the movie is being filmed and want to move there **((AlyMay: Maybe if I move there I can be in it…….)) ((CourtRose: If only….))**

3. You spend endless hours on YouTube watching other people's Twilight movies… **((CourtRose: Guilty!))**

4. …and visit Stephenie Meyer's website every single day… **((AlyMay: I just check the home page! And then go and look around the website…))**

5. …and search to find out every little bit of information you possibly can learn about vampires/Twilight/the movie/the actors/the characters/etc.

6. After reading Twilight, you examine your quieter classmates/coworkers more closely to see if they exhibit vampire qualities…

7. …and purposely try to touch their hands to see if their skin is cold.

8. You _do_ meet someone with constantly cold hands and you grab them and press their teeth to your neck… (even if they're a girl)

9. …and when they deny their vampireness, you scream, "LIAR! I KNOW YOUR SECRET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **((AlyMay: I must admit, I do have cold hands…))**

10. You see someone staring at you in frustration and believe they are trying to read your mind.

11. After the estimated date for Breaking Dawn was set, you put a countdown on your MySpace page for how many days are left until it comes out… **((Exactly 200 as of today))**

12. …and your fellow Twilight-obsessed friends **((ahem…Courtney….))** see it and nearly strangle you because there are, as I said, 200 days left.

13. You now frequently have dreams involving vampires, werewolves and how they will fall desperately in love with you.

14. You chose to sit next to the only empty seat in biology class so that if a beautiful, pale boy enrolls in your school, he has no choice but to sit by you.

15. Since reading the series (multiple times) no boy seems perfect enough to be your man.

16. You wish for nothing more than to be an extra in the Twilight movie **((AlyMay: GRRRRRR You have to be 18!)) ((CourtRose: We checked.))**

17. OR you want to walk onto the Twilight Movie set and have the producers see you and scream, "SCREW KRISTEN STEWART! WE'VE FOUND OUR PERFECT BELLA!" **((CourtRose: I have to admit, I'd make a pretty good Bella…But who doesn't think that about themselves?))**

18. You refuse to go to school on sunny days. Cuz then the REAL vampires in your school will believe you ARE a vamp, too, and want to hang with you.

19. You see a depressed girl at school and believe that her vampires soulmate has left her. And that makes you insanely jealous that she even MET him!

20. There are a bunch of killings in your area and though the reports say it's a serial killer, you know the TRUE story. (There are a bunch of newly turned vampires in your city. DUH.)

21. …and you track down the new vampires to convince them to change you.

22. You create a "You Know You've Read Twilight Too Many Times When" fanfic.

**x X x X x X x**

**AlyMay: So…first fanfic Courtney?**

**CourtRose: yes**

**AlyMay: -ahem- Cool. Excited?**

**CourtRose: yes**

**AlyMay: Yeah. Well…since you're not going to say anything more than 'yes' I'm just gonna post this…okay?**

**CourtRose: okay. it's been fun making this with you. even though all the ones I made were funnier. hehe**

**AlyMay: And NOW she speaks…**

**-Peace, mon!-**

**-Alyson May who is in collaboration with Courtney Rose-**


End file.
